On the Road

People deal with emotions in all sorts of ways.  These last few days, I've seen the differences between my parents, family, friends, and acquaintances.  I tend to be strongly positive.  I avoid having formal goodbyes, and opt for parting with the best wishes of seeing each other again soon.  And by strongly positive, I of course mean I'll hug you and be the strong one, and then will go cry in the bathroom when you've gone.

More than anything I try as hard as a I can to be aware of the magnitude of what's happening, without letting it overwhelm me.  Sometimes it does (pacing around my room at 3 AM last night organizing my carry-on baggage) but at the very least I try to recognize it and let the feeling pass.  Know that I'm getting nervous, know that I probably didn't pack everything I need, know that my parents will cry at the airport regardless of what I do.

I also tend to revert to my own sort of scripture.  The last few days have seen a sharp increase in my quoting of The Desiderata, Jackson Browne, films I've always loved but only recently realized are all about going on adventures.  Part of me knows that these things won't change.  I can watch my favorite scenes anywhere in the world, and the same songs will make me cry regardless of where I listen to them.

The hard part is the people.  What a species, I'll tell ya, they drive you nuts but you love 'em anyways. 

Well, I'm getting a bit sentimental now.  We're heading to the airport in about half an hour.  The internet went out at home so I'm posting this from the airport!  1 free hour of wifi, you go Frankfurt.  Despite all the rest, the hardest part of leaving for me is the drive away.  After we were out of site of our house, we were on the road - the journey has begun.  But those few moments where you're leaving and you're looking back are what always gets me.  It happened when we drove away from our house in Philly.  It happened when the cab pulled away from my flat in Edinburgh.  And it happened again in Landstuhl as I drove away from our home of 7 years.  All three images overlapping, or perhaps blurring together through the tears.  

I'll leave you with this, Jack Kerouac said it a lot better

“What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? - it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.” 

The sadness of leaving and goodbye is real, but let's get this crazy venture started.   Love you Germany, love you friends, love you family!

26+ Hours of in-flight entertainment, here I come!