Wanderlust

Should you find yourself at your flight gate, traveling alone, to a country notorious for violence, crime, and treating women poorly, a moment of hesitation means you're doing things right.  Once you embrace the reaction for what it is - just fear - its time to go. Put on your big girl hat, listen to your funky playlist, and get on the plane. You've got this, all on your own. But if you don't, go for it anyway knowing that there's always people to help, send money, or bail you out of Papua New Guinean prison. 

In PNG the cities are a bit dirty and dangerous, and especially daunting for a young lady traveling by herself. I always employ my Dad's “Look like you know where you're going” approach to seem like a local, but there's only so much you can do about being the only sweaty, blonde, white lady whose a foot taller than everyone in the airport. I think the politically correct way to put this is, my favorite part of Port Moresby was my flight in.

On arrival in Madang where I met my new boss, Barbara, the tension melted away a bit. Its amazing how beer, food, and a place to sleep makes all the anxiety go away. Man, Australia rubbed off on me.

The next day we headed by speedboat to Karkar Island, the location of the plantation owned by the family I'm now working for. Before I had left, my Dad and I tried looking at Karkar on Google Earth to see what we could see, but we had a hard time finding the villages that I'd heard about.

It didn't take long to figure out why.

The majority of the ~60,000 people on Karkar live in these villages made of nothing more than grass huts, without running water or electricity. There are a couple clinics, hospitals, and schools with a bit sturdier infrastructure scattered around. The only Western style homes are those on the plantations, of which there are about half a dozen on the island.

The family lives in a sort of fenced in compound with 3 houses, manicured lawns, and private beach access. I have a completely modern cottage inside the fence with a big bathroom, fans in every room, internet, and a fridge full of healthy foods (rice and beer).

Its really my first experience with a class system. I by no means feel superior, but the division is just part of the culture.  I'm currently learning Pidgin and hoping that speaking with locals in their language might open things up a bit. And for everyone watching from home whose been a bit worried, know that my daily activities are planned by navigating what is and isn't safe *sigh of relief*.

In the midst of all the craziness of my first week here, I received the unfortunate news that my grandfather passed away. He wrote extensively about having the Wanderlust when he was young, an inherited trait I reckon. I don't really believe in heaven, but he did which is what matters. It's probably got more women to flirt with than a nursing home or a hospital bed, and at the very least, it makes me happy to know that from up there he can watch his granddaughter on an adventure like his.

Back in the Saddle

Leaving Australia

Hands down, the most difficult place I've ever left. I've loved places and jobs and people before, but there was something different about this one. Perhaps that it was all of those things at once, plus falling in love with the person I got to be there. I can only hope I find that again.

And those Watsons. I mean, when they took me to the airport they willingly went through airport security just to sit with me until I boarded. That's love folks. We hugged goodbye, handed my ticket to the lady, and all sort of laughed when she offered us all tissues. Then I walked away.

On a hike at KataTjuta, our guide told us “Don't turn around until you're at the top. The view hits you so much stronger.” With that in mind, I walked nearly all the way across the tarmac and only when I was nearly at the plane, turned and looked over my shoulder for one last look at the family that I'd become a part of.

Well, the view did hit me. There it was. Windows made of one-way glass. But they could see me and maybe they were crying, maybe they were waving, but my time to know those things was over all the sudden. I didn't lose them, they weren't gone. You can never have another person, they are never yours. You only have what you share, and if you're lucky, you'll share many things for a long time.

Anyway...that's the back story of the time I cried for an hour on a flight with a bunch of miners and businessmen and stewardesses repeatedly asking me if I was okay.

American Dream

Since we're going for honesty here, I'll lay it out for you. America does not care if you like it, and that makes it sort of hard to love.

I've absolutely loved seeing so many old friends and family. But it does feel a bit like being on tour, which can be uncomfortable. An outsider in a place you thought was home. I'm sure I'll warm to this place, but for now I can tell she knows I'm still drifting, and won't show her true beauties to me until I make a stronger commitment to this land.

For quite a bit of my time back here I've been fairly depressed. I'd say it's due to a mix of Vitamin D deficiency, not having dogs to play with, and according to Sad Kaitlyn the "loss" of "like everything ever" that apparently happened "like really fast".  She's a bit dramatic.  People don't like to talk about it, which is funny, cause I reckon almost everyone goes through it at some point. I'm by no means an expert, nor have I ever had professional advice on the matter. But for people out there having a hard time dealing with some sort of emotional event I offer these tips if you want 'em:

• Time will make it better, and a need for immediate gratification will not.
• Your feelings are probably caused by your heart and/or your brain being a bit hurt. So, it may come as a surprise, but those two things may not be the best tools for making you feel better.
• There is nothing like an old friend and a new perspective.
• Nothing looks hopeful when you're lying in bed.
• Cry. Let it go. Take a shower. Cry while you sing Let It Go while taking a shower. And at the point when you're thinking, “I haven't cried in like 3 days!” Guess what? You're gonna cry, and that's okay.

That's a good starter pack, if you ever need the extended edition, never hesitate to talk to me. And that's another thing. Hello, everyone listening? Think right now about something that's troubling you. Got it? Wasn't hard, was it? Everyone has something in their life that lies on the scale of suckiness at any given time.  Coworkers, High Blood Pressure, a crazy daughter who keeps crying and singing Let It Go in the shower. Sometimes they want to talk about it, so it doesn't hurt to ask. And sometimes just distracting them with your friendship brings them a happiness they forgot they were capable of. Go love on some people, it can't hurt.

Its Happening

Originally I was heading out to Pittsburgh for a graduate school interview for the weekend and was going to return to Maryland on Sunday and have a whole week of packing and planning for PNG. Well, my cousin Mary is way too much fun so I stayed there until Wednesday.

This led to having the craziest Thursday of my life. I made a packing list. I did laundry. I applied for and got a visitor visa for Australia because I completely forgot that you need one if you want to leave the airport during the 24h between your flights. I got immunizations for Tetanus, Influenza, and Typhoid fever. I started taking anti-malarial medication (which may cause weird dreams and hallucinations! I don't know why my doctor said this like it was a bad thing!) And most importantly, I got Seasons 4 and 5 of Downton Abbey for the four day plane journey that's coming up.  

You think you're going to be ready and be calm and cool and collected. And then unexpectedly, it's happening. Before you've made the right Embassy contacts and gathered the appropriate clothing, before you've got the right bug repellent and replacement camera batteries, before your still mending heart and brain are entirely ready to throw themselves into something new...You're excited.  You're going on an adventure.  You're back in the saddle,